The real reason my anxiety finally eased
Lets go back in time
I want to take you back to a time when I thought I had stumbled across a magic wand for solving my problems . You see, five years ago, I was deep in the trenches of something that came in totally left field and changed my life forever — crippling anxiety and overwhelming feelings of dread.
I didn't really know it at the time but for a while I had been dealing with the onset of my menopause, and with the lottery of symptons this can throw at you I got handed this one.
I had always been lucky enough to sail through life not really knowing what anxiety was, sure I got nervous like everyone else at certain things but this was a whole different level. This was physical - heart beating, ears ringing, short of breath, sweaty palms, feeling like I am going to vomit or faint levels of pure panic. The worst part for me was that it was triggered by seemingly simple things that I had done a thousand times before such as introduce myself in a meeting. For a project manager who run a team at the time I can tell you that my world was turned upside down over a period of 18 months. The whole 'Fight,Flight or Freeze' concept people talk about - I never really understood it fully until I experienced anxiety.
(Interestly when I talk to women now about this - when you are going into menopause it seems very common to suddenly start getting very frightened of doing things you never previously worried about i.e driving in the dark, joining the motorway etc)
At the time I was going through some personal stuff too in my life too so I put this sudden anxiety mainly down to that and pretty much spent all my time pretending things were fine.. you may be familiar with this approach?? The one where we get good at putting on our best smile and getting on with it!
I tried lots of things in that time. I went to Hypnotherapy which was really good and helped me a lot. I explored Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT aka Tapping) which was also great! I also developed really really good ways of hiding my shaking hands and quavering voice in meetings and got extra good at hiding what was happening to me in general to the people in my life that cared about me. I eventually changed my job so I was less in the limelight and had less responsibility and it fitted in my ever changing personal circumstances.
The magic wand?? Im getting to that :-)
It was around time I jumped into a challenge to swim the distance of the English Channel—22 miles over 12 weeks for charity.
Sounds impressive, right? And in some ways, it was. Swimming quickly became my sanctuary, my escape, the place where I could literally and figuratively keep my head above water. I would swim lap after lap and found the very act of keeping a tally on my laps - was actually helping ease these feelings of dread and anxiety I carried around with me. !! Was I onto a winner?
Short answer is No
Yes there is no doubt that the swimming and the very mediative nature of doing the laps for hours helped ease my anxiety BUT I’d finish my swim, go home, and pour myself a glass (or three) of wine to “relax ”. Yep, that’s right—after all those laps, I’d unwind and de-stress with the very thing that was acutally winding me up even tighter.
At the time, I didn’t connect the dots. I chalked up my anxiety to menopause and the stresses of my life situation at that time, never suspecting that my beloved glass of wine was actually the culprit, not the cure.
It took me another year—an entire year of swimming, worrying, drinking, and repeating the cycle—before I finally decided to take a break from alcohol. And do you know what happened? The anxiety that had been my constant companion started to ease. It wasn’t an overnight miracle, but gradually, I began to feel a clarity and calmness that I hadn’t felt in years. Its hard to describe but when asked I often can be heard saying - its like the white noise that was always in my head just dissolved.
Turns out, the wine wasn’t my friend after all. It was more like that friend who always brings drama to the party—fun in the moment, but boy, do they leave a mess behind!
So why am I sharing this? Because if you’re anything like I was—a “middle-lane” drinker who’s stuck in the drink-recover-drink cycle—you might not even realize that the thing you think is helping you relax is actually keeping you stuck in anxiety.
Taking a short break from alcohol, with a little support (hint, hint), could be the very thing you need to start feeling like yourself again. You don’t have to swim the English Channel or tackle your entire life in one go. Just take it one lap at a time. Trust me, the water’s fine—and life on the other side of the drink-recover-drink cycle is even better.
This rather fetching picture was taken at the end of the 22 mile challenge in May 2019 :-)
Although the swimming was great for easing my anxiety - it was another full year of living with it daily before I took a break from alcohol to see if that would help ( it did!)
Why Alcohol Makes Anxiety Worse ( and especially for Menopausal Women) :
Temporary Relaxation, Long-Term Chaos: Sure, that first drink feels like it takes the edge off, but as alcohol leaves your system, it messes with your brain chemistry, leading to increased anxiety.
Stress Amplifier: Alcohol raises cortisol levels (the stress hormone), which means your body stays in "fight or flight" mode longer than it should.
Hormone Havoc: During menopause, estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuate, and alcohol can further disrupt these hormones, intensifying mood swings and anxiety.
Hot Flash Trigger: Alcohol can dilate blood vessels, making hot flashes more frequent and intense, which can increase stress and anxiety.
Sleep Sabotage: Menopause already messes with sleep, and alcohol makes it even worse by disrupting your sleep cycle, leading to more nighttime awakenings and less restorative sleep.
Increased Sensitivity: As your body changes during menopause, it becomes more sensitive to alcohol’s effects, meaning even small amounts can make anxiety spike.
Blood Sugar Rollercoaster: Alcohol messes with your blood sugar levels, which can cause energy crashes and mood swings, worsening anxiety.
Bone Health Risk: Menopause increases the risk of osteoporosis, and alcohol can interfere with calcium absorption, adding more stress about bone health.
Rebound Effect: Once the alcohol wears off, your anxiety often comes back stronger—hello, vicious cycle!
Decision-Making Debilitator: Alcohol dulls your ability to think clearly, which can make anxiety-provoking situations seem even worse than they are.
Some ideas on what You Can Do About It:
Move Your Body: Exercise, even just a walk, releases endorphins—your brain's natural feel-good chemicals - and we know swimming is good :-)
Practice Deep Breathing: Try deep breathing exercises or meditation to calm your nervous system. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4. Repeat..
Eat Mindfully: Fuel up on foods rich in magnesium, omega-3s, and complex carbs. Think leafy greens, nuts, seeds, and whole grains—good for the brain!
Journal It Out: Write down what’s on your mind. Sometimes getting your thoughts on paper can make them feel less overwhelming.
Connect with Others: Talk to a friend or join a support group. Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone can ease anxiety.
Get Enough Sleep: Prioritise a good night’s sleep—think dark room, cool temperature, and a relaxing bedtime routine.
Take an Alcohol-Free Break: Give your body a break from alcohol to see how it impacts your anxiety and overall well-being. Even short breaks can make a big difference.
Cool Down Strategies: Manage hot flushes with cooling techniques like layered clothing, staying hydrated, and avoiding triggers like spicy foods.
Mindful Eating: Focus on a diet rich in phytoestrogens (like flaxseeds, soy, and whole grains) to help balance hormones naturally.
Hydrate Smartly: Sip on herbal teas like chamomile or peppermint, which can soothe anxiety and help with sleep.
Breathe and Relax: Practice deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation to calm your mind and body when anxiety hits.
Connect with Your Body: Mindfulness and body awareness techniques can help you stay grounded and reduce anxiety especially during menopause.
